Friday, September 16, 2005

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Why Your Wife Won't Have Sex With You

Of Orgasm and Effort


LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm can blame it on their genes.

Like heart disease, anxiety and depression, scientists discovered in a study of 1,397 pairs of female twins that there is a genetic basis to female orgasm.

"We found that between 34 percent and 45 percent of the variation in ability to orgasm can be explained by underlying genetic variation," said Tim Spector, of the Twin Research Unit at St Thomas' Hospital in London.

"There is a biological underlying influence that can't be attributed purely to upbringing, religion or race."

Other studies have attributed differences in the ability to achieve orgasm to cultural, religious and psychological factors.

Between 12 to 15 percent of women don't have orgasms compared to about 2 percent of men. Males are also quicker at 2.5 minutes, while the average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm is 12 minutes, according to Spector.

"Why is there this biological difference between the sexes? The fact that some of this is heritable suggests that evolution has a role," he told a news conference.

Spector suggested reaching an orgasm could be a way for women to assess whether a man would make a good long-term partner. It may also increase fertility, according to some theories.

In a study of identical and non-identical twins published on Wednesday in the journal Biology Letters, Spector and his team found huge variations when they surveyed them about sexual problems.

One in three women, or 32 percent, said they never or infrequently had an orgasm. But 14 percent said they always had an orgasm during intercourse.

"More women were able to orgasm during masturbation, with 34 percent always reaching orgasm," the researchers said in the journal. ...

"There is something biological that explains some of this large variation between women," he said, adding that many genes could be involved. ...

But Spector said orgasm is a very complex process which is poorly understood. Little research has been done because it is still a taboo subject. Anatomical and biological features and psychological factors may all play a part.




As someone remarked in the discussion where I lifted this article, only 34% "always" reaching orgasm during masturbation seems extremely low. You wonder why a person would bother masturbating if they couldn't get the payoff. But perhaps there was an alternate, "almost always" answer that could be chosen on the survey. Even I have been known to give up on Getting There a time or two.

A person really can be "too pooped to pop" sometimes. Trying to work up the necessary muscular, neurological and vascular tension to get over the top is genuinely tiring. It seems almost effortless if you only have to work for 2-3 minutes to Make It, but when you have to strive for a quarter of an hour or more, sometimes -- in prospect at least, and at the end of a long day -- the work-to-benefit ratio doesn't recommend itself.

This is part of what men don't understand. For them (and yes, I'm generalizing, get used to it), sex = fabulous pleasure from a minimum amount of physical work. Although they may have to work pretty hard to get their partners off, the actual sex part is always great. Guaranteed. But intercourse can begin to seem like a boring, messy chore if you're not going to get off from it. And it looks like almost a third of women can't make it that way. There are many others who only have orgasms from intercourse intermittently, and that means they have had many experiences of working long and fruitlessly toward... nothing.

And consider how appealing this effort would be with a partner who bores, sickens or infuriates you. Do you resent your wife? Do you carry around a load of anger against her? Is she physically unappealing to you now? Okay, whatever. Here's the question: Given your feelings (justified or not) if it was going to take you 15 minutes of tense effort to get off AND you only got there 25% of the time anyway, even after all that work, wouldn't you be a little reluctant to put out for her?

Don't you wish your wife was one of the lucky 14 percent who "always" have orgasms during intercourse?

She wishes she was, too.